I’m aware that dealing with rejection, staying positive and not giving up has been a recurring subject here on the blog. Sorry if it’s getting a bit repetitive, but I’m still looking for a new job and there’s a lot of rejection involved, so please bear with me.
In the past few posts I’ve written on this topic I mostly talked about how you shouldn’t let rejection get you down, but instead just get back up and throw yourself out there again and again. And again. But let’s be honest, we can’t be shiny happy people Every. Single. Day. Or at least I can’t. Sometimes I just feel the incredibly pressing need to wallow in self pity and today is such a day. At least it is as I’m writing this, it will probably go up later and I might be having a particularly positive day. Who knows.
What I want to say, or write, here is that this is okay too. Or at least it should be. Or at least I hope it is.
I would suggest to just embrace the moment of darkness, feel sorry for yourself for a few hours, or a day if the darkness is really deep, and do the unproductive things that make you feel better. Or that you think make you feel better. For me that is eating ice cream and watching TV that doesn’t have any cultural or educational value whatsoever. Reality TV is an option, so is Grey’s Anatomy.
This is not in any way a solution to those feelings, but everyone needs a Bridget Jones moment every so often.
While you are having such a ‘I’m a failure and no one out there gives a shit about my hopes and dreams’-moments, you might also feel the need to share your dramatic thoughts with some other human. For me that is Matt. An example of such a self pity heavy conversation:
Me: I’m feeling particularly unwanted today.
By the world.
Him: But I want you.
Me: Yes, I know, but I’d like someone else to want me as well.
Preferably someone who is willing to pay me a salary.
Now I’m not promoting an eternal ‘poor me’-complex, after a while you should probably stop the wallowing and pick yourself back up, but for now, let’s get that ice cream out.
Edit: Even though it is still quite early and feeling sleepy is currently still my most dominant emotion, today is definitely a better day than when I wrote this. I have some exciting news you see, but all about that next week.