Mistakes are supposed to be made and then learnt from aren’t they? So I’m writing down a few of my (recent) acts of idiocy to avoid them in the future. This post is more of a letter to myself, but you are very welcome to come along on this journey of self-improvement.
Do not throw your iPhone against the wall, I repeat DO NOT THROW YOUR IPHONE AGAINST THE WALL. Not even when booking international train tickets is getting very frustrating. Not even when you’ve had to go through the reservation process about 23 times and the internet cuts out just as you’re finally about to pay. Still. Not. A. Good. Idea.
And yes, you were aiming for the pile of pillows on your bed in front of that wall, but let’s be honest, with your aim that was never going to happen, was it?
Next time, maybe try counting to ten.
Stop buying heels. You like comfort and it is a huge waste of money. Yes, heels are elegant and they give your thighs and arse a nice lift. The reality however is that all your beautiful pieces of elegance have moved to a different country with you a few months ago and haven’t been touched since unpacking.
Admittedly they are on the more sensible side of the spectrum, rather chunky and not that high at all, heels a seasoned stiletto wearer would laugh out of the room. Still, they pinch your feet and make everything below the waist hurt after approximately 30 minutes. Given the fact that you are about 6ft tall anyway, the extra height was never a source of motivation either.
Your flannel M&S pyjama bottoms are the best cost-per-wear investment piece in your wardrobe, a clear sign that these tools of female torture were never going to be for you.
Just give up.
Stop getting so upset about other people making fun of you. For someone who is so passionate about the ‘stop caring what other people think of you’-mentality, this is a very inconsistent personality trait to have. It has been a problem for you ever since you were a temperamental two-year-old (see point one).
It’s probably time to get over it.
I’ve just laughed at myself quite publicly, maybe that’s a start?